Quitting

So, I guess this is a bit like dropping the bomb but, I thought I might as well update people on what's going on.

I've dropped out of the hotel-school. The reasons were many but the biggest one was that it just simply did not fit me. It was like my mind was screaming at me, 'Hey, what the heck are you doing, this isn't you. Do you really wanna oppress yourself just to fit in here?'

To be honest I never had much of an interest in the hotel business to begin with. At the time when we choose schools I was choosing between this one and a designers college. I REALLY wanted to go to the designers college but everyone kept telling me what bad idea that would be and that the hotel-school had so much more benefits. And in the end I managed to tell myself that as well. But entering a school that you pretty much forced yourself into believe you'd wanted to enter was a doomed cause from the beginning I guess.

After a while I started to get depression and it only got worse. Working in a high class hotel as a high class service staff fit me about as well as a polar beer fits in the sahara desert, something I clearly came to feel as I entered my internship. All my colleges loved their work so much, burning with a passion to please the customers, and I couldn't grasp their feelings at all, I just felt completely out of place. I just do not have the right mind/personality for this kind of job I guess.

So in the end it boiled down to me quitting school. And no, it was not an easy decision, neither was it a decision taken over night. Rather it just came as the natural thing to do after weeks of contemplating, crying and that constant bad feeling that was always hovering there. So 2 days ago I signed the final papers and said my farewells to school. Saying good bye to my home room "teacher" was extremely hard, he's such a nice guy and I knew he really wanted me to stay, but in the end I had his support as well. But we're still gonna keep in touch which makes me really happy. If things had ended on a bad note it would've felt much worse.

Now most of you probably wonder what the heck I'm gonna do from here on, well, that is for another blog update I believe :D I can just say that I have things under control so to say, and I feel better than I have done in months! But for people hoping for me to show up in Sweden now, unless very unexpected things happen that will probably not happen in a long time .__. I do miss you all, VERY MUCH, but there is someone here who loves me very much and who wants me to stay (of course that makes me want to stay too) so unless someone can magically get us an apartment and give a non swedsish speaking person a job then things get very difficult (and unsure) considering a life in Sweden.

This was one hell of  a long rant but at least now you know what's been going on. And now it's time to write a new chapter in life!