Lost in too many thoughts

I've been having a lot on my mind lately, most of them really small and trivial things, others big enough to make it hard to sleep at night.

One of them being that I felt something a bit odd (at least I think so) in one of my breasts, and since I have lost both grandmother and mother to breast cancer all warning bells start to ring in my head. Probably it's nothing, there's SO many things it could be that is natural and not dangerous at all, but of course the stupid human brain wants to think the worst. Most of the time I manage to not think about it, but then it hits and the worries starts all over again. I'm gonna go check this up next week if I can get an appointment, it's ALWAYS better to check one time too much than to not check at all and then I can finally stop thinking about it or do something about it if that what it comes to.

Second, one year ago I was so sure I had found my place, living together with my roomy back in Stockholm, and I had no problem seeing I would live like that even in the future. Then I came here, and things that I hadn't planned at all happened, which in turn led to that I will probably get an apartment together with my boyfriend here in Tokyo in a near future if everything works out with his job. It's a huge thing for both of us since it's not a question about moving to someone else place but starting something totally new together, as our own little family. And seeing as this is Japan where family business is not something taken lightly it's seen as an even bigger thing. Whaaa what have I gotten myself into, but I can't deny that I'm super happy. Being together for over a year and things just feeling better the more time we spend together this can't be anything other than right. Well when this moving in together goes official bricks shall be shat seeing as no one thought I would ever settle down for REAL, hell even I didn't think so. But sometimes things just doesn't go as planned.

Third, bf wants to move to Sweden in a few years, which puts me in the 'then why the heck am I studying japanese for', it's gonna be pretty useless once in Sweden, most who studies for 2 years here see at least some kind of future in Japan. So yeah, I wasn't really prepared for that one. But learning swedish will take a LONG time, so I guess we'll se where we have gotten with our lives at that point.

Just a few nights ago I felt horrible, it was like the world had come crashing down on me and I didn't know what to do with myself. But it also made me think all things through thoroughly , and in the end it left me more calm than I have felt in months. So no bad things that doesn't bring something good I guess.

Now I'll just take it step by step until my breast examination and if nothing bad shows up I'll live my life like I've never lived it before, life is precious after all and each and everyone should enjoy it to the fullest, making the most out of every opportunity.
I probably won't update until after my check up, but after that theres a lot more to come!

A small(??) update before summer!

I constantly think to myself that I'm gonna get better at updating my blog but unfortunately it's still all too rare that it happens -_-;

Well anyhow at least here comes a long update on whats been going on recently!

After my classes had finished in March I took a 2 week trip to Sweden! The weather was really unfortunate because in Japan it barely gets below 0 in winter so I have no real winter jacket, but when I went to Stockholm it was -8 freezing degrees. So yeah I was basically freezing my butt off the whole stay. But apart from that it was great. Got to meet so many of my wonderful friends, and there were still a lot more that I had wanted to meet, so sorry to you guys.
On the first day some of my friends had a welcome home party for me, I was totally dead from jet lag but it was really fun non the less^^ The rest of the time I just went around and hung out with people, a nice way to spend 2 weeks, but in the end it was kinda stressful haha. When I went back to Japan it felt a bit sad but at the same time good since I've really grown to like Tokyo.

Right after I got back school started, and the studies are exhausting, it's just too much vocabulary and kanji at the same time. Well I'm gonna press in as much as I can and hopefully it will take me somewhere, I'm not gonna give up, that's for sure!

A little while ago it was Golden week here and me and my boyfriend had planned on going to Hakone, but in the end it was way too expensive so we took a one day trip to Enoshima and Kamakura instead.
We watched a beautiful sunset from a hill and got to see Mt Fuji!

We also saw this special place on Enoshima where lovers can write their name on a locker and hang it in a near by tree or whatever is fitting. Cute! We weren't cute enough to do that though haha.

Last weekend we went close to the sea in Tokyo for some relaxing time, it was great weather and a really nice day all in all.

This weekend I attended Designfesta in Tokyo big sight, it was maybe not as fun as I thought it would be, mostly because the place was too big, but it was still fun to have been there once.

Saw this on the way out, I'm sure people who want a veggie pizza will enjoy the bacon x)

In the meantime I've also got some cheap shopping done, the yen being as cheap as it is and my talent for finding already cheap stuff is a good combo.

I really like the pinkish color of the clothes and the bag give me summer vibes.

A cute dress and a more rock'ish one, I'm more than ready for summer to come!

And in just about a month me and one of my best friends are traveling to the korean vacation island Jeju, it will be some funfilled days for sure!

I'm REALLY gonna try and write in the blog more often from now on, life IS kinda fun after all so why not share it. Until then, take care everyone!